Plot or Premise
The premise of this book is that there are many people who never feel satisfied, nor take the time to feel satisfied, and are always looking forward to the next obstacle, next project, next item on their to-do list — and whatever they have done, or accomplished, is never enough.
What I Liked
There is a lot to like in this book. Some highlights:
- Never-enough thinkers act compulsively…unsure about what they really want, they stay in constant motion. (p.2)
- Having been taught not to depend on other people, you take more than your share of the blame for what goes wrong in your relationships, at work, and in your family. (p.4)
- Realize that if you could “just do it”, you would have done it. (p.5)
- There’s a saying in Twelve Step programs: Your best thinking got you here. (p.9)
- When we suppress our painful feelings, we lose our happy feelings too. (p.32)
- You get an illusion of security from having all of these untapped talents. (p.47)
- Depression indicates that the self system has had to retreat to a lower level of functioning in the face of its inability to meet higher goals. Depression also serves as a communication, a message to the world at large that the self system can no longer be counted upon, that it has ceased to function in some significant degree, that one has lost hope, and that help must come from the outside. In other words, the self says, “enough is enough”, and retreats away not only from the feelings that are most troublesome, but all feelings in general. It’s a concept that goes far toward explaining why depressed people often feel, “What’s the use?” (p.67)
- You have an emotional thermostat turned high to nuances, a sensitivity to a lot of surplus information other people filter out and disregard. This sensitivity is your strength at times. But it has an enormous cost. (p.84)
- We meet the right person when we become the right person. (p.144)
- There’s an interesting fact about blaming oneself which explains why so many people are so willing to take it on. If one is at fault, then one can always do better. As long as one is responsible, one always has hope. (p.208)
What I Didn’t Like
Some of the approach gets a bit repetitive in trying to emphasize or illustrate certain points.