If you have been reading my previous posts, you know that I finally committed to weight loss, and I made the decision on my birthday back in June (#50by50ish #50 – Lose weight – Part 1, the decision). I’ve always struggled to even commit, and yet something changed this year that allowed me to go all-in. It is my one and only official goal for the year, and in fact, I won’t be setting any more goals until this one is accomplished. No retreat, no surrender, no partial success. Total success or I don’t declare victory and allow myself to move on to anything else.
People usually assume that if you have a goal that you’re not achieving, even though it should be achievable in theory, then there are only three things stopping you from achieving it:
You’re procrastinating; and/or,
It’s not really that important to you.
However, for those who have done some reading on cognitive behaviour therapy, change, addiction, etc., there are often three other things that hold you back:
Triggers / old patterns of behaviour that cause you to backslide;
Lack of support / inadequate resources to achieve the goal on your own; and/or,
Benefits from the old situation that sabotage your commitment and progress.
I’ve said previously that I have wanted to commit to losing weight as a goal but have never felt able to do so realistically — sure, I could have committed, but I didn’t think it would be anything other than a paper commitment. I wasn’t psychologically, intellectually, emotionally, physically, or spiritually ready to make the changes needed. » Read the rest
In my previous post (#50by50ish #50 – Lose weight – Part 2, draw vs. drag), I talked about how I’m framing my approach to change as as a constant battle between the draw forces that “pull me forward” and make me want to make the change, and the drag forces that “hold me back” and stay the way I am. As I noted, the forces drawing people forward are often easy to see…they are the current costs that they want to eliminate and the future benefits that they want to achieve. At first, there’s nothing particularly magical or amazing in there, but I did want to review them as part of my inventory. Yet, as I started to look at the costs, I realized that there was a deeper option…could I catalog a bunch of the costs that I have incurred throughout my life?
Welcome to my new blog feature that I might start sarcastically calling Weightloss Wednesdays. I will likely blog about my weight journey on Wednesdays, and if it motivates me to find a catchy name, so be it. Because today’s post is all about motivation.
As I move forward on my new goal i.e. losing weight, I mentioned that “something had happened” that allowed me to commit to weight loss in a way that I had never been able to do before. Before I get to that, I have to give a bit of context to show how I arrived at that “something”.
I have been heavily interested in the concept of “personal change” ever since I took five years off from dating to figure myself out aka get my head on straight. Yet while I am really good at field-stripping my psyche down to its component parts and reassembling on the fly, and even better at setting goals and sticking to them for a year, I’ve been stuck on this one big goal for several years. » Read the rest
I am a big advocate and personal user of goal-setting and monitoring. Every year, I take stock of my life across a variety of areas and come up with a long list of things I want to do that I feel that I either need or want to do in order to improve my life. Some of them can be quite small like sorting through a bookcase of stuff that has accumulated or quite large like redoing a kitchen. Some of them are quite personal like spending more time with my son or having date nights, others might be more abstract or impersonal like reading more non-fiction. But I analyse and sort, set a goal, commit, and then, I go. I’m not always 100% successful, but I commit and I go. I’m not afraid of failure, it is just one way I found that didn’t work, and besides, I have lots of other items that I’m moving forward on anyway, so one “failed” goal does not often affect me too much for the year. » Read the rest