Surveys have shown that many people move to Montreal, not for the culture, but for their health. They’re paranoid, and it is the only place where their fears are truly justified.
A man walks into a Winnipeg bar and asks, “Wanna hear a joke about people from Churchill?”
The bartender says, “Listen, pal, I’m from Churchill, and I won’t appreciate it. The man sitting next to you is 265 pounds, and he’s from Churchill too. And the bouncer, that huge guy there, is also from Churchill. So do you still want to tell that joke?”
“No,” says the guy. “Not if I have to explain it three times.”